Yesterday was a hard day. I haven't been getting much sleep and this week has been so intense. I quit smoking. I quit caffeine. I quit cooked foods. I started two prescription medicines....it was all a bit much. I was high, high, high....and then I was irritable, grouchy, sleepy, hungry and scattered. I couldn't work, because I couldn't concentrate to write. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't stand sound...noises were irritating me big time. I'm also getting ready to start my moon cycle.
So yesterday, after eating fruits, veggies, and WAY too many nuts without ever feeling satisfied, I talked myself into a 70/30 diet for now. 70 percent raw, 30 percent cooked.
I figured that eating things that weren't giving me the nutrition I needed, wasn't helping my goal of being healthy, nourished, satisfied and energetic.
I bought a package of smoked salmon (Lox), goat cheese (which for some reason that I need to research, does not impact me like other cheeses, no mucous or asthma) and a package of sprouted Ezekiel bread english muffins. Ezekiel bread is sprouted, gluten free, flourless, yeast free, etc. I figured if I was going to eat bread, I should choose the best, most healthy thing I could find. You can find it in your grocer's refridgerated section. Oh, and I also got some hummus and a package of shitake/portabello mushrooms (to saute), along with raw food items and Lara Food Bars.
I made sure that the things I got had no chemicals in them - organic, only whole ingredients...I even chose the smoked salmon that had no sugar in the smoking process. The hummus was organic and natural, just chickpeas, olive oil, etc.
I thought I was going to cut the smoked salmon package up into four pieces and eat one a day for the next four days, on a piece of Ezekiel bread with goat cheese, but who was I kidding? I ate the whole package (not very much really) and wanted more. I felt very nourished once I had eaten my dinner and went straight to bed (at 7pm) because I needed it.
I didn't have very sound sleep though...and had a lot of vivid dreams. In one dream I found that I had an extra bedroom in my apartment that I never knew about out. I was ecstatic to find more space in my home. In other dream a doctor (Paul Reiser from Mad About You) was taking blood from my arm to test it for something, then he tried to get sexual with me and I got upset! I've been dreaming very vivid dreams, because of the nicotine patch. That is ANOTHER thing I am on at the moment.
It's not like I want to smoke - the very thought of it makes me feel strangled and unable to breathe, but I am on the patch because I tend to get very, very, VERY irritated as I am detoxing fom nicotine. I cry a lot. I feel like life sucks. Everyone gets on my nerves. I cry a lot. I come across as a bitch, basically. Everything I say sounds irritated. I just want to make all of these changes as painless as possible. I was going to use Chantix, because I know that works, but decided against it because I have to smoke for a week to do Chantix. I know that I can never smoke another cigarette again, so Chantix is out of the question. I just can't.
It's very humbling to be honest about all the things I am doing now and just come clean about what I am taking, where my health is, and what I am doing. I would rather just hide it and act like I don't need anything and that I'm all natural. I've tried that, a lot, and failed a lot. This time I am just coming clean with it all, taking responsibility, being honest WITH MYSELF, and working toward eliminating things as I go. I think this is the recipe for success. We shall see! Since Sunday I have eliminated Prednisone and Alavert.
Now I have Singulair, the patch and my inhaler left to conquer.
So, I wake up, take a shower, put on a patch and have a smoothie. Today it was 2 bananas, and a lot of kale, romaine, sprouts and collards. It was yum! Then I take my inhaler as little as I can all day (which has been drastically cut since Sunday - I would say I take it 1/5 as much as I was) and I take a Singulair before bed.
I am working slowly...yes...but I am working. Plus, I can breathe A LOT better now. I never wake up during the night unable to breathe anymore AND I never have to take my inhaler first thing when I get up in the mornings.
Always on the forward path.
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